A soul in tension, that's learning to fly…

Tag: goals

  • Dreams vs. Reality, and what we make of it.

    Good Morning Amman

    Six months ago, I expected to be seeing this right about now. It’s morning in the Al Rabieh section of Amman, north of Fifth Circle.  I was going to spend a couple days in the city, connecting with new and old friends, then take a ride up to Ajlun to meet up with some good friends.  I was really looking forward to it, and some of those friends were counting on it.

    But life throws us curves. The unexpected happens- sometimes “good unexpected” and sometimes disappointing. Instead of waking up in Amman right now, I’m preparing to go bed in Pennsylvania. Instead of arid air, city sounds, and clear blue skies, I get humidity, the smells of farm country, and rumbles of thunder. Disappointing unexpected.

    But instead of time with good friends in a faraway land, I got a long weekend with my family. Instead of exotic shopping, struggling to find the right words in another language, and white knuckles from adventurous taxi rides; I got multiple get-togethers with friends all around the area, fantastic conversations with many of them, and relatively calm drives on mostly empty roads. “Good unexpected.”

    We go through life and we make plans. We pray for God’s blessing on our plans and somehow expect that because WE prayed for it to happen, that it must be Divinely ordained. It’s a silly sort of arrogance in the best light. Something far worse in any other.  Reality crashes in on even the most seemingly “good” plans and dreams and presents us with a picture far different than the one in our minds.

    In the words of John Lennon, “Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans.”  The question for use, for me specifically, is what do we do with reality? Do we curse it and rage against it for not conforming to our “better” plans? Do we begrudgingly accept it, silently pouting about “what might have been”? Or do we recognize that the Divine Mind might actually have knowledge and perspective that is beyond our own, and that this disappointing reality might really be the opening to something far greater?  In other words, will we not just ACCEPT our reality, but relish in it?

    I’m going to miss seeing my friends in Jordan this week. I’m going to miss serving them, sharing meals and tea with them, spending long evenings talking with them. I’m going to miss their kids, who have been a real delight in my life the last couple years of visiting them.

    But I won’t waste the reality I have here. I’m going to enjoy my kids. I’m going to share meals with my family, and hopefully coffee with some of my friends here. I’m going to talk long into the evening with my wife and others about the dreams in our heads, and how this reality might be taking us there.

    We’ve already started, sharing some of our thoughts and dreams with friends at one of our several get-togethers this weekend. As it turns out, they have similar dreams of their own, and might be able to help make our dreams a reality. Now isn’t that funny?  At that moment, I could have been sleeping in Amman. Instead, we were very awake, eagerly discussing “what might be” instead of “what might have been.”

    How about you? What reality is crashing in on your dream?  What are you making of it? I’d love to hear about it.

  • The unexamined life…

    Socrates is famously quoted as saying, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  At some later point, I’ll reflect on my studies of Socrates/Plato during my undergrad years at Northern Illinois University.  But for now, I would like to share a framework that my friend Ron K. shared with me a few years ago for actually examining life.

    We were talking about New Year’s Resolutions, and Ron shared that he had a much more elaborate system.  Every year, he would sit down and make resolutions from several categories.  He wrote them down.  He kept them.  He showed me a tablet of paper going back YEARS, with these annual plans and goals- detailing the person he wanted to become that year.  Some were very lofty and high minded.  Others very earthy, talking about income goals for that years.  Others were more whimsical, like learning to play guitar well enough to perform publicly.

    And so, for several years now, I have at least attempted to make a similar list.  Ron shared that the ACHIEVEMENT of the goal was not necessarily the mark of success, but rather the MAKING of the goal.  It’s the process that matters.  It’s the systematic, regular, detailed examination of one’s life that not only leads to business success (and Ron has been very successful in business), but to fulfillment in life.

    As these goals are often very personal things, I won’t share all of mine here, but I would like to outline the major areas, some of which I’ve altered from Ron’s list.  Each category should have 1-2 concrete goals within it.

    • Artistic Goals – we all need some sort of artistic outlet, whether writing, painting, making music, or even blogging.
    • Career Goals – Not just “job” goals, but how do I want to enhance, or even begin to change my work life this year?
    • Family – What do I want to do to be a better husband, father, son, brother, etc.?
    • Physical – Run a 5K?  Lose weight?  Bench press a Volkswagen?
    • Public Service – What will I do to serve my community this year?
    • Attitude – What do I want to develop or change in how I respond to the world?
    • Educational – We should always be learning. How will I?
    • Financial – How will I know if I’m succeeding in the area of personal finance?
    • Pleasure – What will I do that will bring me joy this year?
    • Spiritual – How will I develop or change my relationship with my Creator?

    One of my Artistic goals for the last several years has been to blog at least weekly.  And so here we are!  Anyone else want to share?