It’s a bit of a disappointing start to the week. There’s little point in going into all the details, but the experience brings up a lot of questions and thoughts. Disappointment happens. It is a part of life- we disappoint others when we make promises we cannot keep. Others do the same to us. Sometimes, circumstances bring on the disappointment. It is never enjoyable.
As a person of faith- specifically Christian faith, I am taught to believe certain things about disappointment:
- It is inevitable. People are flawed, as is the world we live it. Thus we will all be disappointed.
- Neither disappointment, nor specific disappointments come as a surprise to God. In fact, nothing does. One of the pastors at my church often reminds us that nothing happens but by the expressed or permissive Will of the Almighty.
- All things happen for a purpose, and the closing of a door should only direct us to a different one- or to a time when we will be ready to step through the one that is currently closed.
- Our Redeemer has experienced real and personal disappointment. Thus we have a very empathetic ally with whom to share the feelings we experience when life does not go exactly as we think it should.
But it’s still no fun. It is especially not fun when we have to share disappointing news with others- which is where I find myself this week. I hate disappointing people. I suppose a psychotherapist could have a great several sessions with me on this. But it is an ingrained part of my emotional DNA. I would rather suffer silently. I would prefer to muscle through and MAKE the impossible happen. There are times I would rather fail miserably rather than deliver disappointing news. But before I wrote this, I already owned up to it. I delivered the tough news. Guess what- it doesn’t feel any better.
Ah, but back to my four part list above. It may not feel better, but it is better. It has to be. A friend of mine wrote yesterday that “How you feel about God during the suffering times is how you really feel about God.” It’s an easy statement when the doors are swinging wide for me and mine, but a bit tougher to swallow when they are not. But truth works that way- it is true regardless of feelings, circumstances, or the opinions of me or others. Nevertheless, I will trust and accept as truth that my disappointing week is just that- MY disappointing WEEK. And something else awaits. I wonder what…
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